What makes a Hook?

Sorry it’s been a while since I last blogged. I’m pretty bad at it.

Anyways, one thing making writers have problems with is that first sentence at the beginning of the story. I’ve been told a few times that my hooks are really good—including Rush’s first sentence.

The first thing to know when writing a hook is what turns off readers at the start of a story—some things seen quite a few times.

The story’s first scene…

Wake up

Going to/at school

Background

Middle of action

Those are the first four things I think of that tend to start a story—most of the time, they don’t hook the reader, because they tend to be too overused. I, personally, start my very first novel waking up, the second being going to school. These things tend to turn the reader, which means it’d be best to start elsewhere.

Then, the first line is…

Dialogue

“My name is Mary Su, and this is my story.”

Descriptions upon descriptions

Those are the three things that come to mind. They, too, can be very annoying—the middle one the worst—and hard to get right.

So, what makes a good hook?

The first would be to avoid waking up. This tends to lead to a “Mary-Su, wake up!” thing from the mother, or a smashing of an alarm clock and groan. Both are seen quite often, and will put me off. (Course, I’m very picky when it comes to picking up a book and reading the first line.)

The second would be on the way to school. This could be paired up with descriptions, or a “My name is Mary-Su, and my story starts with my on the way to school.” (Hey, that rhymed!) But, either way, if it starts at school, especially the beginning of the school day, it may be best to stay away. Anything that has to do with school, really, because school is a popular topic in YA fiction. (Hint: if you want the story to be real unique (for YA), avoid school entirely, but make sure there’s some sort of reason, and have things that the reader can relate to.)

The third is a whole page on background information. This is where the reader learns everything about the main character’s past, like when (s)he fell, when his/her father died, etc. Personally, I don’t want to read about the character’s past. I want to dive into the story and read something entertaining, not learn that the character’s dad passed away in a car accident when she was a baby.

Which, in a way, leads me to the middle-of-action type of start. Most of the time, the reader is left completely confused on what’s happening, but if done right, this could be an amazing start. And when I stay starting in the middle of action, I also mean starting with some sort of action. Starting with action in general (for the first chapter) isn’t the greatest way to hook the reader, because they don’t know who the main character is, and then this crazed event happens, which makes the character change drastically.

But what about the very first sentence—the real hook? You ask.

Let me give an example of four different starts:

• “Tally, get up!” my mom calls from the door. I groan, rolling over, and throw a pillow at her, which she avoids.
• My name is Tally. The following events may be scary, and the faint of heart should put this book down and walk away.
• The sun rises, a bright orange ball hidden by green trees. Violet lights surround the glowing ball as it rises, the trees creating a strange sort of line in front of it. It inches higher in the sky with every second, growing closer and closer to sitting high in the sky, ready to provide warmth for everything.
• In my mind, two worlds have begun to blend together: the real and my dreams.

See the different between those? The very last one takes thought—the one can stand out among the rest. A good first line make take a lot of thought.

What I do with my first lines is think about the story. What’s a major element to the story? I.e. death, life, pastimes, etc. These things can stand out, and once done, write a few lines afterwards, and the story can get going.

Here’s an example from Rush:

Life lost all meaning the moment I killed another living being. Now I live in this gray, stony cell with no one else, my only contact with any person is when they need me—but not because I killed someone.

I shudder at the thought. Those very people will come for me any minute. Twenty-four hours has passed since the blond scientist in a lab coat pulled me out of this cell, his guard following just a bit behind.

Not the greatest example of a good start, but it’s a start that I’m proud of. Now, these are my opinions of a good hook. Many readers may agree, while some might not.

I hope this answer some people’s questions on what can make a good start!

-Dylan

Pitch me!

So I've decided to start editing people's pitches. This could be for a query letter (though I may or may not be the best at that) or for a simple pitch you want to use on a website. Whatever the cause, I will gladly edit it.

And I may as well list a few things that turn me off from novels, be it in the pitch or first chapter.

#1 Mary Sue lived a normal life...
This is one of the classic first lines in a pitch that turn me off. If the life wasn't normal before, sure, say that in the pitch. But the reader should automatically assume that the character's life was, before the novel, normal. Which is why I, as a amateur author, avoid this. To me, it is like saying 'The sky was blue before the storm'. A 'no-duh' saying.

#2 Mary Sue's parents recently died...
This seems to another classic line found within a pitch. There always seems to be something wrong with the parents, which also bothers me. And then, within the story, there's the way the author goes about killing off the parents: car accident, usually during the winter. There is only one book that I've read where the parents died in a different type of accident not in the winter: The Wicked series by Nancy Holder and Debbie Viguie. The main character's parents die in a kayaking accident. This makes the whole 'parents dying' thing unique.

#3 The hook
This bit just talks about the hook of a story. Mostly the first sentence. Many times, the story starts off with either a bit of dialogue or description. To be truthful, description tends to bore me, though dialogue can be interesting. With dialogue, though, it is best to avoid using just the main character's name. That bothers me. And with the descriptions, they tend to be lengthy and not really important.
What I like in a first sentence is a sort of fact that goes with the main character, something that means a lot to the character or the story, or both!

Those are the three things, off the top of my head, that bother me in a pitch and hook. One thing that's nice to see in the first sentence of the pitch is the main character's first name. (Hint hint: some agents prefer to see a main character's name at the very start of the hook in the query letter.)

And now I wrap things up, because I've run out of things to talk about.
Thanks for reading!
-Dylan